Author: system

Is it really necessary to establish the authority of the father?

Written by Mr. Leung Wing Lok, an octopus parent

 

Since I got a Kim Jong-un haircut by a hair stylist, I have been thinking about whether I should implement “Kim Jong-un style of discipline” at home to a pair of children, and to authoritatively promote my personal hero worship to my father, so as to regain my status and authority in the family, and to implement the “Great Father Leader”, and I am planning to hang my own magnificent pictures in all rooms and play the “Love Daddy” song, but unfortunately, it has been a failure before implementation. ……

 

Should you build authority in your children from a young age?

 

Many of my friends would remind me to build authority while my children are still young, otherwise we will not be respected when they grow up. The friends’ good intentions are based on how they were “taught” or “lectured” when they were young, and then they “respected” and “feared” their fathers, and had a good relationship with their fathers when they grew up, so they concluded that “filial children come out from under the rod” and “don’t be disobedient”.

 

A friend shared his personal story of being beaten “because he was beaten every day, both big and small, he was already used to it”, and one night he felt strange because he had not been “taught a lesson”, and before he went to bed, he did not forget to remind his parents “to beat or not to beat? If not, I will go to sleep ……” is full of black humor. But fortunately, my friend is a kind-hearted person who grew up without a vengeance and did not become a murderer.

 

Dismantling the true power of fatherhood

 

The question of how to establish the authority of a father is a perennial problem, and I ask “Why must we establish patriarchal authority? Is the purpose to facilitate management? A command was given and all the children obeyed. Or how much of it is to satisfy one’s own desire for power, “I am the father, you are the children, you must listen to what I say. Or even more, “I say one is one, and my children have no right to say two. I believe that if I were such an “authoritarian” father, I would not be happy either, because my father is not so domineering, and has never “dictated” my decisions on further education, employment, etc., except for when I scored near zero in exams and dictations when I was young, I would be given a harsh “What are you doing? I think this is the power of patriarchal authority.

Teaching by example is more important than discipline

 

Back to my “Kim Jong-un discipline”, my eldest son, Hay, is always angry because of changing clothes, and the conversation often goes like this, my wife or I: “Change your clothes! We’re going out! “ I kept doing my best to show my fatherly authority (pretending) and said angrily, “Go change your shirt, go, go, go! He was so disturbed but did not do anything. My wife couldn’t resist: “You haven’t changed your shirt yet? Is there anything wrong! Hay replied, “Daddy won’t help me change my shirt! I said : “I’d help you change, but you didn’t. Come on over” He is furious: “I want to change myself “ Normally I will be so angry but before the fake role became a real anger, Hay came to me and hugged me and said “Today is Father’s Day, Happy Father’s Day! I feel a sense of déjà vu…. Teaching by example is more important than discipline, and “Kim Jong-un’s discipline” is even less necessary and is automatically set aside.

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Only want to stay in the air-conditioned condition during hot weather?  Beware of get air conditioning disease？

Written by : Yeung Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioners

 

This summer is really “hot and heavy”! In the face of the alarmingly high temperatures, families always want to stay in air-conditioned rooms. In addition to the increase in cases of heat stroke, many patients have “cold” symptoms, suffering from air-conditioning disease. Because the hotter the weather, the more likely to covet air conditioning, when out of the air-conditioned room, equivalent to a seasonal temperature difference, in this “hot and cold” situation, it is prone to catch a cold.

 

The most suitable temperature for the human body is 24.5 degrees to 25.5 degrees, but many office central air conditioning is often set at between 15 ℃ and 20 ℃. When working staff have to sit in the office for 8 hours a day, students stay in the classroom for a long time, they will suffer from “air-conditioning sickness” when they are exposed to low temperature for a long time. The symptoms include headache, dizziness, easy fatigue, nasal allergy and runny nose.

Moreover, prolonged exposure of the respiratory tract to dry and cold air causes continuous loss of mucosal moisture, and cold air causes microvascular constriction of the mucosa and reduced glandular secretion, resulting in a drier respiratory mucosa. Not only does it produce a dry and itchy throat, but it also aggravates nasal allergy. The following are some of the my tips for effective prevention of cold weather illness.

 

  1. Keep warm to avoid pain

If the air conditioning vent is facing the head, it will stimulate the head. The head is the meeting of all the yang, cold condensation will make the flow of qi and blood blocked, “blocked then pain”, resulting in headache. Even worse is the direct blowing of air conditioning, causing many chronic pains, such as arthritis, knee pain and lumbago, etc., which are then aggravated. The easiest way to keep warm is to avoid being blown directly by the air conditioning and to wear more warm clothes. Before entering an air-conditioned place, you can rub your hands together to warm them up and then cover your nose to avoid the cold air from entering the nasal cavity directly, which will stimulate the nasal mucosa and induce nasal allergy. In addition, you should wear a shawl or a thin jacket to avoid head and neck pains caused by air conditioning.

 

  1. health tea treatment for air-conditioning diseases

People often eat snacks in the afternoon to refresh themselves. It’s suggested eating more foods such as red dates, brown sugar, peel and ginger water, these foods not only do not cause fat, but also promote blood circulation. If you are not suffering from allergic rhinitis and want to relieve dryness in the respiratory tract, you should drink more plain water or honey water on weekdays. You can also drink a tablespoon of brown sugar and three slices of ginger in hot water for 20 to 30 minutes. You can also eat fruits that are more nourishing, such as pears, because they nourish the lungs and stomach, quench thirst and nourish the skin.

 

For those who suffer from allergic rhinitis, this tea can be used to relieve air conditioning.

Ingredients: 3 grams of Chinese ears, 12 grams of catkins, 6 grams of peppermint and 9 grams of almonds for tea therapy.

Directions

Step 1: Put the ingredients into a tea bag, add warm water at 90 degrees, and bake for 15 minutes.

Step 2: Diffuse the nose with steam for about 1 minute, because the essence in it contains the volatile oil of peppermint, which has the effect of clearing nasal congestion. After the drink is warmed up, it can be consumed.

 

Efficacy: Peppermint, Cang Er Zi and Catkins are all in the lung meridian and have the effect of dispelling wind and clearing the nasal orifices. Almond has the

function of keeping the lungs smooth and moistening them. The combination of these herbs can effectively reduce the symptoms of nasal allergy.

 

  1. often patting the acupuncture points to stimulate blood circulation

On weekdays, you can use your fingers to press or pat the Yongquan point on the bottom of your feet, which is also known as the “longevity point” and can stimulate blood circulation throughout the body, making your body warm and relaxing to sleep. In addition, the navel and three inches below the location are some points to strengthen the body and Qi, such as Qihai and Guan Yuan. In addition, warm water bags to warm the abdomen, also has the effect of cold to prevent disease. And often to sit in the air-conditioned room, try not to maintain the same sitting posture for a long time, usually may wish to do some simple stretching movements, so that blood circulation, so that the body naturally warmed up.

Do children need to wear sunscreen when the sun shines?

Written by：Dr. Chang Kit

 

With modern information flow is well developed, many health care-related knowledge is easily available. One of the things that people will increasingly understand is the importance of sunscreen protection. Too much UV light accelerates skin aging and increases melanin production, resulting in pigmentation. Although UV rays themselves are effective in helping to produce vitamin D and absorb calcium, Hong Kong is on the edge of a subtropical region and is exposed to more sunlight each year than the upper northern hemisphere (such as Canada and Europe), so even with sunscreen products, there are still many opportunities for exposure to the sun.

 

Don’t children need sunscreen?

Adults, especially women, are aware of the importance of sunscreen protection. This includes applying sunscreen regularly every day, replenishing sunscreen regularly and avoiding outdoor activities during the sunniest hours (10 a.m. to 2 p.m.). In addition, you can also use a wide-brimmed hat and wear long-sleeved clothing. However, have you ever heard parents say, “Only adults need to wear sunscreen, not children? There are many parents who believe that children do not need sunscreen. There are three reasons for this.

 

  1. children need more sunlight to be healthy
  2. sunscreen is a chemical substance, which is not good for children’s delicate skin
  3. it’s not a big deal if your child gets a little more sun.

In fact, this is not the right idea. First of all, children basically don’t know how to protect themselves or how to avoid the sun, so they are “at risk”. Moreover, children’s skin is thinner and more tender than that of adults, so they are more prone to sunburn and sun spots, and therefore need more protection. On the other hand, the sunshine hours in Hong Kong and China are longer than those in Europe and North America, so the exposure to sunlight is already sufficient, so as long as there are normal outdoor activities, there is no fear of not having enough UV rays or vitamin D.

 

Choose the right sunscreen

As for the chemical nature of sunscreen, you should know that there are two types of sunscreens, including chemical and physical. The former needs to be absorbed by the skin in order to have a sunscreen effect, while the latter reflects sunlight on the surface of the skin. Therefore, if you are worried about the harmful effects of sunscreens, you can choose the physical type, such as zinc oxide. In addition, parents should not forget that clothing itself is also the most effective sunscreen, so wide-brimmed hats, long-sleeved shirts and long pants are very important.

 

What will happen if you do not protect yourself from the sun?

  1. General blemishes and freckles, especially on the nose and cheekbones
  2. Skin sensitivity due to repeated sunburns
  3. uneven skin tone, especially if sweat spots are also present
  4. Roughness of the skin
  5. Microscopic blood vessels and cherry nevi on the epidermis

When parents understand the importance of the above sunscreen, they should no longer tell others: “Kids don’t need to use it!

New mothers are physically and emotionally exhausted, and their husbands have two simple tricks to help them relieve their emotions

Written by Chinese Doctor Yiu Yee Chiu

 

It is not easy to build a healthy and happy family. Starting from the first trimester, mothers-to-be have to face internal and external changes such as physical appearance, weight and weight, and even psychological and emotional changes. Mothers-to-be who are pregnant for the first time are more stressed and nervous. In addition, the stress may come from the partner and family members around her. I have seen some mothers who are pregnant with their second child and are overly worried because of the urgency of the sex of their child. In fact, children are a gift from God, so we should open our arms and obey God’s will, and our families should support us. However, there are many cases of postpartum depression. Therefore, I will share with you the treatment of postpartum depression from the perspective of Chinese medicine.

 

Prenatal and postnatal depression and blood stagnation

In Chinese medicine, there are six types of depression: qi depression, blood depression, phlegm depression, damp depression, heat depression and food depression. Postpartum depression is quite complex, with qi and blood depression being the most common. The theory of Chinese medicine is that “when evil qi is injured, the right qi will be deficient”. The body of the mother-to-be has to give a lot of nutrients and blood to the baby during pregnancy, and the pain, qi depletion and blood loss during the delivery process will cause the mother’s body to suffer a lot.

 

Later on, the mother’s busy schedule in taking care of the baby makes her physically exhausted, coupled with unclear dew and incomplete blood stasis, which causes the internal organs to be out of balance. At this time, the mother starts to feel weak, dizzy and headaches, pain in the lower abdomen, irritability and insomnia, and even affects the secretion of breast milk, such as lack of milk or low milk supply. In this case, the mother will feel frustrated, her emotions will be further affected, she will be irritable and prone to crying, and she will have a sense of loss and emptiness. These are all symptoms of postpartum depression.

Tips to relieve tension

 

In fact, postpartum depression can be avoided, and both Chinese and Western medicine have excellent therapeutic effects, so mothers should not be afraid to seek medical help if they start to notice something wrong. To prevent depression, mothers should have a regular routine before and after childbirth, plus dietary therapy and appropriate amount of exercise to maintain physical and mental well-being.

At home, husbands can perform some simple acupressure points for their wives to help relieve their tension:

1. Accelerate the heart and lung function to help relax the mood

Hold hands together and gently rub to stimulate the Yuzhi point under the thumbs and the Laogong point in the center of the palms, or press these two points with the thumbs for a few minutes.

2. Reduce head swelling and pain

Press the thumbs and middle fingers of both hands against the lateral solar plexus points and gently rotate them up and down for a few minutes to reduce head swelling and pain.

Whether you are pregnant or not, a husband who massages his wife can improve the relationship between the couple and make the family more warm and harmonious. If you have friends who are expecting mothers, remember to encourage each other and share your experience, which will also help mothers-to-be!

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Failure to adequately address anxiety in young children may exacerbate separation anxiety

Written by: New Horizons Development Centre, Certified Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah

 

As the school year begins again, many children cry when they first go to kindergarten. However, there are also children who can go to school without any adjustment period because their parents can prepare them mentally and practice simulations. For children, entering kindergarten may be their first major challenge because some children are separated from their families for the first time when they enter kindergarten, but once they have enough time to become familiar with the school environment, they will feel safe in kindergarten life and will not cry.

 

What bothers parents and teachers the most is that after a few weeks of enrollment, children continue to cry or expressly resist going back to school. In better cases, they may not like to participate in extracurricular activities, and in more severe cases, they may refuse to go to school, and in some extreme cases, they may not allow their parents to leave their sight. These are all separation anxiety problems.  

In fact, there may be deeper reasons why children do not adapt to being separated from their families that need to be understood in depth. For example, some children are admitted to the intensive care unit when they are newborn because they are underweight or have physical problems, or they need to be hospitalized or undergo surgery because they are sick. Although such medical support is necessary for them, it may also lead to traumatic psychological experiences for them, and since then they may be afraid of strangers or unfamiliar places and easily develop separation anxiety, and their sense of security is lower than other children.

 

In some even worse cases, parents are not allowed to work, or that the child needs to be left with a babysitter, but the children do not want to be left behind, so the parents consider the reality of their needs and have to forcibly separate from them or lie to them. As a result of parents’ misuse of inappropriate methods, their feelings of insecurity during infancy and early childhood are reinforced. The so-called traumatic experiences are actually events that cause them to be psychologically afraid.

 

The main reason for the lack of security in young children is the separation from their families and the failure of parents to handle the situation properly. Ironically, some caregivers do not provide a safe and adequate living environment in their daily lives, and more importantly, there are frequent changes in caregivers or places, and there are strong contrasts in caregiving practices, causing them to go through psychological adjustment tests before

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Wear face mask for long time during Epidemic. How to make children learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes”?

Written by: Hong Kong Speech and Swallowing Therapy Centre
Senior Speech Therapist Eunice Siu

In our daily interactions with others, we not only observe others’ behaviors, but also “explain” and “predict” others’ behaviors. Theory of mind is the ability to infer or substitute other people’s mental states, such as their thoughts, beliefs, desires, and intentions, etc., and to use this ability to explain other people’s thoughts, perceptions, and predict their behaviors. Theory of mind can be subdivided into “emotion recognition”, “beliefs” and “pretend play”.

The developmental period for children’s theory of mind is from approximately 3 to 7 years of age. However, before the age of 3, children need to master the following skills to effectively develop theory of mind skills.

1. noticing and imitating the behavior of people around them
2. recognizing the emotions of others and using words to express them (e.g., happy, sad, angry, surprised)
3. participates in pretend play
4. understands that different people have different desires and preferences
5. understands that people will act to get what they want (e.g. reach for candy)
6. understands the causes and consequences of unsympathetic emotions (e.g. if I hit my brother, my mom will be mad and then she will scold me)

Ways to improve theory of mind are:

1. Use more psychologically relevant words when talking to your child

Using psychologically related words to communicate with children can help children understand their own and others’ psychological conditions more specifically. Examples of psychologically related words are “think,” “pretend,” “know,” “believe,” “feel,” and words related to emotions. Pay attention to what your child is trying to say and then respond. For example, “Ah! You want cake”, “Don’t be afraid! You think I’m gone, but I’m still here,” and “Mommy’s mad at you for hitting your brother. Parents can also explain to their children the psychological situation of others, e.g., “Mei-mei is smiling so much when she receives a birthday present, she should be very excited.

2. Participate in role-playing games with your child

Role-playing games encourage children to put themselves in different situations and characters’ perspectives to draw inferences about their behavior. To begin, children can pretend to be common everyday characters, such as mothers, doctors, teachers, and drivers. Parents should pay attention to the fact that both the words and behaviors in the game should be substituted for the role played. This activity helps children experience a variety of emotions, thoughts and interactions in different social situations, and learn to observe, imitate, anticipate, review and adjust their thoughts and behaviors.

I hope parents can make good use of the opportunity to share and communicate more with their children in daily life, so that they can learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes” (meaning read people’s faces) and become a “mind-reading detective”!

Source：
Hollin, P., Baron-Cohen, S.,& Hadwin,J.(1999). Teaching children with autism tomind-read. West Sussex, England: Wiely Press

Lowry, L.(2015).” Tuning in” to others: How young children develop theory of mind. The Hanen Centre.

Spastics Association of Hong Kong (2005). Connecting: Developing social skills in children with autism. Spastics Association of Hong Kong.

Ways to improve theory of mind are:

1. Use more psychologically relevant words when talking to your child

Using psychologically related words to communicate with children can help children understand their own and others’ psychological conditions more specifically. Examples of psychologically related words are “think,” “pretend,” “know,” “believe,” “feel,” and words related to emotions. Pay attention to what your child is trying to say and then respond. For example, “Ah! You want cake”, “Don’t be afraid! You think I’m gone, but I’m still here,” and “Mommy’s mad at you for hitting your brother. Parents can also explain to their children the psychological situation of others, e.g., “Mei-mei is smiling so much when she receives a birthday present, she should be very excited.

2. Participate in role-playing games with your child

Role-playing games encourage children to put themselves in different situations and characters’ perspectives to draw inferences about their behavior. To begin, children can pretend to be common everyday characters, such as mothers, doctors, teachers, and drivers. Parents should pay attention to the fact that both the words and behaviors in the game should be substituted for the role played. This activity helps children experience a variety of emotions, thoughts and interactions in different social situations, and learn to observe, imitate, anticipate, review and adjust their thoughts and behaviors.


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