Poverty leads to change, change leads to adapt” Let children learn to be flexible

Written by:Gigamind English Primary School Principal Law

 

There is a Chinese saying: “Raising a child for 100 years old is a long-term worry for 99 years. This speaks to the heart of thousands of parents. As the weather turns colder, you are busy adding clothes for your child, but when you see other people’s children running and jumping around wearing only a single coat, you may worry that he is too warm and less able to adapt. If your child doesn’t listen to you and does what he wants to do, you will be annoyed, but if he asks you for everything, you may worry and say, “Oh! Didn’t I teach you that? Why don’t you always know how to adapt?

 

The power of adaptability from the movie

Spontonsive Flexibility is an element of creativity. If you know how to adapt, you can solve a problem in a different way.

 

Have you ever seen the movie “Apollo 13”, which is based on a true story? One scene of the movie tells the story of the runaway spacecraft, filtering toxic gas equipment is broken, scientists found that to solve the problem, we need to connect a round interface to a square interface above. Different sizes of water pipes cannot be reliably connected, but they want to connect the round interface? Sounds like you know it is impossible, but if you cannot connect the filter cannot pass the toxic gas, the three astronauts will not be able to return alive! In the end, with the cooperation of each other, they used plastic bags, cardboard, tape and other things to connect the two different interfaces, successfully solved the problem.

 

 

Inclusion of children’s ideas

We need to be mindful that developing children’s adaptability requires an attitude of tolerance and acceptance of seemingly silly solutions to problems. Since adults have more experience and are better at solving problems than children, they sometimes feel that the solutions children come up with are not good enough. However, the most important thing is that these solutions were thought up by the children themselves, and they can work. Even if they don’t work, they probably make some sense and can barely do it. No matter how “dumb” a child’s approach is, every success and every parental support gives him or her more confidence to solve problems in the future.

 

Letting your child try

Adults may be able to figure out solutions to problems faster than children, so we need to give children enough time to think and try, and not rush to tell them what they think. Parents should let go of their children and let them face difficulties on their own. “Poverty leads to change”, and the motivation for “change” will be weakened with too much help.

 

This is the difficulty of being a parent. If you help too much, you worry that your child will not know how to solve problems on his own; if you help too little, you worry that he will not be able to catch up with others; and with so many things to deal with every day, how can you have time to let your child take his time to finish what he has to do every day? However, there are times, such as during the holidays, when we really need to consider slowing down the pace of life and allowing our children to do more of their own work, learn to solve problems in their own way, and develop adaptability.

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What should we do if a child is having a tantrum?

Written by:Dr. Hui Lung Kit, Psychiatry Specialist

 

Many parents have had the experience of taking their children out to play, and the family was in a happy mood and the children were having a good time. But suddenly, the child makes some unreasonable requests (such as seeing a toy to buy), and the parent does not allow it, the child immediately changes his face and cries. When the parent reprimands the child, the child becomes more aggressive, not only crying louder, but also having a tantrum fiercely and stomping on the ground, attracting the attention of passers-by (who may even suspect that you are abusing the child). Parents have no choice but to do their utmost to soothe the child, or even raise their hands in surrender and buy the child a toy in the hope of calming the storm. In the end, once the child has succeeded in his request, he would turn tears into laughter even when the toy is still not received. The previous crying is gone and makes parents unable to laugh or cry.

 

However, have parents ever noticed that if the number of times of “compromise due to pressure” increases, the number of children’s cries will increase instead of decrease? This is due to a psychological phenomenon – “Positive Reinforcement” consequence. Positive Reinforcement” means that when a behavior occurs, if a reward is given immediately, the behavior will occur again. The more the reward, the higher the chance that the behavior will be repeated.

To apply the example to the child, if the child cries a lot, if the adult satisfies his unreasonable request (such as buying a toy) when he is most agitated, this is a reward for his crying behavior, and in the future, when the child has other unreasonable requests, he will be more inclined to use the crying method to achieve his goal. In addition, children generally want to be loved and cared for by their parents. If parents usually ignore them, but the child cries, the parents will immediately become very nervous because even scolding is a form of attention, and over time, children will tend to cry as a means of attracting their parents’ attention.

 

Therefore, the first and foremost thing parents should do to properly handle their children’s crying is to maintain a gentle attitude, but at the same time, they should stick to their principles and not compromise easily, especially not to finally give in and meet demands just because the child continues to cry. If parents cannot control the situation, they can try to reduce their attention to the child, such as removing eye contact, being expressionless, or not talking to the child. In addition, if the crying occurs at home, parents can take the child to a quiet corner, cut off all attention to the child, let the child calm down, and then slowly explain to him what the problem is.

Of course, it is more important to give children appropriate attention from time to time when they are behaving well and not crying, so that they feel safe and do not use fussing as a “bargaining chip” to win the love of their parents. This is the solution to the problem

Children are reluctant to open their mouths. Does listening to music help?

Written By: Pang Chi Wah, Certified Educational Psychologist, New Horizons

Development Centre   

 

 

Parents expect their children to learn to speak, and the feeling of their children “opening their mouths” for the first time is something that only parents who have been parents can understand. Parents want their children to start talking as soon as possible and do everything they can to guide their children to speak. While oral training is important for the development of speech, parents should not neglect auditory training because it is an important prerequisite for language training.

 

Relationship between Auditory Stimulation and Speech Expression

Listening and expression, reception and output, are closely related and complement each other. In the early childhood stage, if a child’s reception is not sufficient, it has a direct impact on the amount of output. I give a more extreme example for analysis. People with hearing impairment have difficulties in speech expression, but this is not due to problems with their oral muscles or related abilities but to the lack of auditory input. Without the verification and comparison of sound content, even though the mouth is developing normally, there is no “inventory” and therefore no “supply”. Therefore, parents should pay attention to whether they are providing their children with adequate auditory stimulation.

 

Diversified auditory stimulation

Some parents may say, “Of course I know this, and I try to output a lot of sound to my child: I often talk to my child, tell stories, describe my child’s surroundings, etc., and I use different languages to do so. While this is ideal for auditory stimulation, the content is rich but similar in nature – it is all verbal. In fact, auditory reception can be very diverse, and music, for example, is a material that can help improve a child’s language skills. Conversely, parents can learn about their children’s language development by how well they listen to music.

 

Music is good for language development

From my years of experience in education, I found that children with poor phonetic ability will have more difficulty in learning music and vocal music, such as pitch, rhythm, range, etc. This is actually related to listening and sound composition skills. Among the different types of sounds, music is the ideal language teaching material, except for the human language. There is a wide variety of music, with different rhythms or themes, from which children can broaden their understanding of sound. In addition to its educational value, some soft music can even help to soothe emotions.

 

Play the harmonica and experience the sound and breathing changes

The same piece of music can feel very different when played by different instruments. This is also good training for your child’s listening sensitivity. In addition to listening to records or playing music files on the computer, it is fun and meaningful for children to get in touch with real instruments and actually play them so that they are more aware of the relationship between different materials and sounds. Harmonica is a good training tool among many musical instruments. When playing the harmonica, children need to exhale through their mouths, thus having the opportunity to experience the changes between sound and breathing. When children play the harmonica, they use their tongues and lips to create sounds that are coordinated with each other, which is an important foundation for the use of the mouth.

Singing children’s songs to learn to speak

In addition to imitating everyday conversations, singing a cute children’s song can have the desired effect of enhancing memory and deepening impressions by using music to carry language. If children can sing along, even if they can’t produce the right sounds at first, they can develop their speaking skills during the imitation process.

A building is built from the ground up, and training in early childhood is very important for children to have good language skills in the future. Through the use of music and musical instruments, children can build a good language foundation in a fun and relaxing way, so parents may want to try it out more often.

Children wet the bed at night, but cannot control themselves.

Written by Chinese Doctor Yiu Yee Chiu

 

Every parent wants their child to develop well and quickly, not to lag behind, if not to be better than others. In medicine, there is a condition between “disease” and “physiology” that both parents and children find very disturbing. This is “nocturnal enuresis in children”.

 

Nocturnal enuresis is a stage of physiological development, but it is a problem if a child is still unable to control his or her urination and wets the bed after the age of 5. Nocturnal enuresis in children can be divided into two types: primary and secondary. The former is a pathological cause, such as spina bifida, or developmental delay. In the case of secondary causes, the child has control over the urine, but then for some reason, it gets out of control. The most common cause is an unexplained delay in development.

 

Medication, Physical Therapy, and Life

In Chinese medicine, the production of urine is related to several internal organs. The causes are kidney qi deficiency, spleen-lung qi deficiency, and liver stagnation and heat. In clinical practice, the main cause is kidney qi deficiency. Unlike adult enuresis or secondary enuresis in children, the condition will generally improve with several months of treatment. However, the treatment must be combined with medication,

physical therapy, and life support.

Chinese herbal medicine treatment: the main ingredients are mulberry cuttlebone, puzzle nut, whole cherry, Schisandra, yam, and mulberry.

 

Physical therapy: Acupuncture and massage, mainly for the bladder and kidney meridians in the back

 

Strict abstinence from food: Avoid cold and raw foods and beverages to avoid further damage to kidney energy

 

Food therapy: Use peaches, tzatziki, Chinese yam, etc. as a meal or dessert

 

Hot compress before bedtime: Apply hot compresses to the kidney points on the back of the bladder meridian every night before bedtime. For a more pronounced effect, use cumin, white pepper, or peppercorns and then wrap them in a cloth bag.

 

 

It turns out that nocturnal enuresis is not a rare occurrence and most children recover completely. Therefore, the most important thing is how to let the child pass through this stage smoothly. If parents don’t handle it properly, it may affect their self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to see a doctor for a formal examination of the situation so that you can really help your child.

Is it really necessary to establish the authority of the father?

Written by Mr. Leung Wing Lok, an octopus parent

 

Since I got a Kim Jong-un haircut by a hair stylist, I have been thinking about whether I should implement “Kim Jong-un style of discipline” at home to a pair of children, and to authoritatively promote my personal hero worship to my father, so as to regain my status and authority in the family, and to implement the “Great Father Leader”, and I am planning to hang my own magnificent pictures in all rooms and play the “Love Daddy” song, but unfortunately, it has been a failure before implementation. ……

 

Should you build authority in your children from a young age?

 

Many of my friends would remind me to build authority while my children are still young, otherwise we will not be respected when they grow up. The friends’ good intentions are based on how they were “taught” or “lectured” when they were young, and then they “respected” and “feared” their fathers, and had a good relationship with their fathers when they grew up, so they concluded that “filial children come out from under the rod” and “don’t be disobedient”.

 

A friend shared his personal story of being beaten “because he was beaten every day, both big and small, he was already used to it”, and one night he felt strange because he had not been “taught a lesson”, and before he went to bed, he did not forget to remind his parents “to beat or not to beat? If not, I will go to sleep ……” is full of black humor. But fortunately, my friend is a kind-hearted person who grew up without a vengeance and did not become a murderer.

 

Dismantling the true power of fatherhood

 

The question of how to establish the authority of a father is a perennial problem, and I ask “Why must we establish patriarchal authority? Is the purpose to facilitate management? A command was given and all the children obeyed. Or how much of it is to satisfy one’s own desire for power, “I am the father, you are the children, you must listen to what I say. Or even more, “I say one is one, and my children have no right to say two. I believe that if I were such an “authoritarian” father, I would not be happy either, because my father is not so domineering, and has never “dictated” my decisions on further education, employment, etc., except for when I scored near zero in exams and dictations when I was young, I would be given a harsh “What are you doing? I think this is the power of patriarchal authority.

Teaching by example is more important than discipline

 

Back to my “Kim Jong-un discipline”, my eldest son, Hay, is always angry because of changing clothes, and the conversation often goes like this, my wife or I: “Change your clothes! We’re going out! “ I kept doing my best to show my fatherly authority (pretending) and said angrily, “Go change your shirt, go, go, go! He was so disturbed but did not do anything. My wife couldn’t resist: “You haven’t changed your shirt yet? Is there anything wrong! Hay replied, “Daddy won’t help me change my shirt! I said : “I’d help you change, but you didn’t. Come on over” He is furious: “I want to change myself “ Normally I will be so angry but before the fake role became a real anger, Hay came to me and hugged me and said “Today is Father’s Day, Happy Father’s Day! I feel a sense of déjà vu…. Teaching by example is more important than discipline, and “Kim Jong-un’s discipline” is even less necessary and is automatically set aside.

Only want to stay in the air-conditioned condition during hot weather?  Beware of get air conditioning disease?

Written by : Yeung Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioners

 

This summer is really “hot and heavy”! In the face of the alarmingly high temperatures, families always want to stay in air-conditioned rooms. In addition to the increase in cases of heat stroke, many patients have “cold” symptoms, suffering from air-conditioning disease. Because the hotter the weather, the more likely to covet air conditioning, when out of the air-conditioned room, equivalent to a seasonal temperature difference, in this “hot and cold” situation, it is prone to catch a cold.

 

The most suitable temperature for the human body is 24.5 degrees to 25.5 degrees, but many office central air conditioning is often set at between 15 ℃ and 20 ℃. When working staff have to sit in the office for 8 hours a day, students stay in the classroom for a long time, they will suffer from “air-conditioning sickness” when they are exposed to low temperature for a long time. The symptoms include headache, dizziness, easy fatigue, nasal allergy and runny nose.

Moreover, prolonged exposure of the respiratory tract to dry and cold air causes continuous loss of mucosal moisture, and cold air causes microvascular constriction of the mucosa and reduced glandular secretion, resulting in a drier respiratory mucosa. Not only does it produce a dry and itchy throat, but it also aggravates nasal allergy. The following are some of the my tips for effective prevention of cold weather illness.

 

  1. Keep warm to avoid pain

If the air conditioning vent is facing the head, it will stimulate the head. The head is the meeting of all the yang, cold condensation will make the flow of qi and blood blocked, “blocked then pain”, resulting in headache. Even worse is the direct blowing of air conditioning, causing many chronic pains, such as arthritis, knee pain and lumbago, etc., which are then aggravated. The easiest way to keep warm is to avoid being blown directly by the air conditioning and to wear more warm clothes. Before entering an air-conditioned place, you can rub your hands together to warm them up and then cover your nose to avoid the cold air from entering the nasal cavity directly, which will stimulate the nasal mucosa and induce nasal allergy. In addition, you should wear a shawl or a thin jacket to avoid head and neck pains caused by air conditioning.

 

  1. health tea treatment for air-conditioning diseases

People often eat snacks in the afternoon to refresh themselves. It’s suggested eating more foods such as red dates, brown sugar, peel and ginger water, these foods not only do not cause fat, but also promote blood circulation. If you are not suffering from allergic rhinitis and want to relieve dryness in the respiratory tract, you should drink more plain water or honey water on weekdays. You can also drink a tablespoon of brown sugar and three slices of ginger in hot water for 20 to 30 minutes. You can also eat fruits that are more nourishing, such as pears, because they nourish the lungs and stomach, quench thirst and nourish the skin.

 

For those who suffer from allergic rhinitis, this tea can be used to relieve air conditioning.

Ingredients: 3 grams of Chinese ears, 12 grams of catkins, 6 grams of peppermint and 9 grams of almonds for tea therapy.

Directions

Step 1: Put the ingredients into a tea bag, add warm water at 90 degrees, and bake for 15 minutes.

Step 2: Diffuse the nose with steam for about 1 minute, because the essence in it contains the volatile oil of peppermint, which has the effect of clearing nasal congestion. After the drink is warmed up, it can be consumed.

 

Efficacy: Peppermint, Cang Er Zi and Catkins are all in the lung meridian and have the effect of dispelling wind and clearing the nasal orifices. Almond has the

function of keeping the lungs smooth and moistening them. The combination of these herbs can effectively reduce the symptoms of nasal allergy.

 

  1. often patting the acupuncture points to stimulate blood circulation

On weekdays, you can use your fingers to press or pat the Yongquan point on the bottom of your feet, which is also known as the “longevity point” and can stimulate blood circulation throughout the body, making your body warm and relaxing to sleep. In addition, the navel and three inches below the location are some points to strengthen the body and Qi, such as Qihai and Guan Yuan. In addition, warm water bags to warm the abdomen, also has the effect of cold to prevent disease. And often to sit in the air-conditioned room, try not to maintain the same sitting posture for a long time, usually may wish to do some simple stretching movements, so that blood circulation, so that the body naturally warmed up.

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Do children need to wear sunscreen when the sun shines?

Written by:Dr. Chang Kit

 

With modern information flow is well developed, many health care-related knowledge is easily available. One of the things that people will increasingly understand is the importance of sunscreen protection. Too much UV light accelerates skin aging and increases melanin production, resulting in pigmentation. Although UV rays themselves are effective in helping to produce vitamin D and absorb calcium, Hong Kong is on the edge of a subtropical region and is exposed to more sunlight each year than the upper northern hemisphere (such as Canada and Europe), so even with sunscreen products, there are still many opportunities for exposure to the sun.

 

Don’t children need sunscreen?

Adults, especially women, are aware of the importance of sunscreen protection. This includes applying sunscreen regularly every day, replenishing sunscreen regularly and avoiding outdoor activities during the sunniest hours (10 a.m. to 2 p.m.). In addition, you can also use a wide-brimmed hat and wear long-sleeved clothing. However, have you ever heard parents say, “Only adults need to wear sunscreen, not children? There are many parents who believe that children do not need sunscreen. There are three reasons for this.

 

  1. children need more sunlight to be healthy
  2. sunscreen is a chemical substance, which is not good for children’s delicate skin
  3. it’s not a big deal if your child gets a little more sun.

In fact, this is not the right idea. First of all, children basically don’t know how to protect themselves or how to avoid the sun, so they are “at risk”. Moreover, children’s skin is thinner and more tender than that of adults, so they are more prone to sunburn and sun spots, and therefore need more protection. On the other hand, the sunshine hours in Hong Kong and China are longer than those in Europe and North America, so the exposure to sunlight is already sufficient, so as long as there are normal outdoor activities, there is no fear of not having enough UV rays or vitamin D.

 

Choose the right sunscreen

As for the chemical nature of sunscreen, you should know that there are two types of sunscreens, including chemical and physical. The former needs to be absorbed by the skin in order to have a sunscreen effect, while the latter reflects sunlight on the surface of the skin. Therefore, if you are worried about the harmful effects of sunscreens, you can choose the physical type, such as zinc oxide. In addition, parents should not forget that clothing itself is also the most effective sunscreen, so wide-brimmed hats, long-sleeved shirts and long pants are very important.

 

What will happen if you do not protect yourself from the sun?

  1. General blemishes and freckles, especially on the nose and cheekbones
  2. Skin sensitivity due to repeated sunburns
  3. uneven skin tone, especially if sweat spots are also present
  4. Roughness of the skin
  5. Microscopic blood vessels and cherry nevi on the epidermis

When parents understand the importance of the above sunscreen, they should no longer tell others: “Kids don’t need to use it!